Category Archives: Humor

At Hug Your Nurse we love humor! These are jokes, comics and anything that is hilarious that nurses would love to read.

mean patients suck

How To Be A Good Patient

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George Tall

Author at Hug Your Nurse
George Tall works in the legal field, is a father of three, and a husband of a RN for 25 years. He enjoys writing about everything, especially nursing! He has been writing for a living, at least partially, since around 2000. As an author on dozens of websites, he enjoys being factual, while spinning a bit of humor where possible.
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mean patients suckI hear about horrible patients almost every day. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? They’re the type of patients that make nurses want to quit and drive everyone in the hospital crazy! These are the ones that seem to go out of their way to make your job the shift from hell. Do they know how horrible they are? Do they care?

For those that do care, and those that want to make the lives of the people that are trying to help them a little bit better, we came up with this list of things that every patient can do to be a good patient. With this guide, you can help the front line troops in the healthcare field do the job they are trying to do- help you get better and get out of the hospital!

 

1- Have something that is really wrong with you. Don’t go to the hospital telling your nurse that you just don’t feel that good. Your doctor’s clinic is not the place that you should be going to every day just so that you have something to do. If you need medical attention, by all means seek it out, but don’t think of the hospital or clinic as a place to go to for entertainment.

2- Don’t exaggerate about your pain, or don’t try to play down the amount of pain that you are feeling. If you are a drug seeker that says your pain is a 10 out of 10, but you are laughing and playing cards, your nurse is not stupid enough to believe you. Drug addicts that fake their level of pain are obvious, and no matter how good of an actor you think you are your nurse knows better. At the same time, if you are asked to rate your pain and you claim that you are fine, yet you can barely talk and you are clenching the bed, stop that! You need to be honest about the pain you are experiencing so that the staff can treat you. Instead of making their job harder, help your nurse/doctor help you.

3- Don’t beg for morphine or Phenergen for fun. If you are begging for your meds to be pushed faster through your IV so that you feel that wave of a buzz, you have a problem. You are not appreciated, and your need to get high with your nurse’s assistance makes them hate their jobs. If you need a dope dealer, leave the hospital and keep the staff out of the dealing business.

4- Don’t threaten the people that are doing their best to help you. If you think that pushing the call light and saying “somebody better get down here and turn my TV channel or I’m going to call my lawyer” is going to help you, you’re wrong. Instead of making anyone want to help you, you are making them want to do the opposite.

5- Don’t stroll around the facility and park in the nurse’s station to have some fun. You are in the hospital to get better. The nurse’s station is for the workers that are trying to help you get better. Respect their work space and they will respect you.

6- No partying in the hospital, please. Don’t have your whole extended family come so that everyone can “cut up” and roar with laughter all through the night. Don’t ask your cousin to bring a bottle of booze so that you can party. Don’t hide in the bathroom to smoke. In short, the hospital is a place for you to rest, get well, not disturb others around you, and not to treat as a bar.

7- Try being nice to the staff. Being a jerk will not help them, and it certainly won’t help you. If you want someone to care about you and your well being, the best way to achieve that is to be polite and kind. Instead of yelling for some more water, try saying something like, “Nurse Tina, when you get a minute would you mind getting me some water?” You may be surprised at how kind your nurse can be when you are polite to them. Nobody wants to do anything that they don’t have to do for Patient Punk, but many will go out of their way to help Mr. Friendly.

8- Don’t beg to be taken outside at night to smoke, when you know that it’s forbidden. If you are in a facility that has a policy that you can not leave the interior after a certain hour, respect that. Pleading to smoke during after hours just terrorizes the staff, and you are the nightmare patient that nobody wants.

9- Help yourself when you can. If you are actually unable to get some water, by all means you should ask for help. If you are capable of getting up and fixing a glass, do it! The nurses are doing everything they can to get their jobs done. Making them go out of their way and stop doing what is needed because you are just lazy is not acceptable.

10- Say “thank you”. Too many people take their nurses for granted. Many have the attitude that their caregivers are just doing their job, are not really humans, and that nurses get paid too much to begin with. That’s just wrong. Taking a moment to thank the people that are working for you can, and will, go a long way.

Bonus: If you think the staff went out of their way to help you, it wouldn’t hurt to send them a thank you card or a little gift of appreciation.

 

What do you think about this list of what people can do to become dream patients? Would you have anything to add to it? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comment box below.

 

hug

Should A Nurse Hug A Patient?

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George Tall

Author at Hug Your Nurse
George Tall works in the legal field, is a father of three, and a husband of a RN for 25 years. He enjoys writing about everything, especially nursing! He has been writing for a living, at least partially, since around 2000. As an author on dozens of websites, he enjoys being factual, while spinning a bit of humor where possible.
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hugSince this site is titled “Hug Your Nurse”, we should at least address the issue of nurses hugging their patients, and throw out some advice on patients giving their nurse a hug.

When I was doing research for this short article (asking my wife, speaking to two other RNs), I ran across the Medscape site where a really nerdy healthcare attorney warned about the possible legal ramifications of a nurse hugging her/his patient when the patient requested a hug. Are you kidding me? If you have nothing better to do than worry about being sued for giving a requested hug, can we please trade lives? Seriously, have we become so litigious that all we are concerned with is being accused of molestation by hugs? Give me a break! I will admit that a hug can be perceived in different ways by different people, but I refuse to live my life in a way that would stop me from showing affection towards someone I care about, especially when they are asking for it. That’s like saying, “He asked me to shake his hand, but I don’t want to be sued from touching his hand.” So, let’s skip the legal aspect please!

In short, if a patient asks you (his/her nurse) to give him a hug, and you want to, then hug them! I’m not saying that you should necessarily grope them, or make it an hour long hug for the romance novels, but by all means do what you want to do. If you care for the person, and genuinely want to express it, and they asked you to do so, then hug them!

Now if a patient that is covered in MRSA and feces asks you for some affection, and you want to do it, I think you’re probably nuts and need to get some better meds. But if you want to hug Patient Virus, go for it! You may want to disinfect afterwards, but that’s your call.

The flip side of the coin is, “Patient Gross asked me for a hug. I didn’t want to but I didn’t know what to say.” I can help you with this one because generally speaking I’m not a huggy type of fella either (people scare me). I say something along the lines of, “Aww Mr. Gross, you’re too nice. How about a high five buddy?” I then slap their hand really quick as I smile and walk away. I acknowledged that they wanted to say “thank you”, I declined their request, but I gave them something else in it’s place- a high five. Problem solved.

On the other side of the coin (it’s a 3 sided coin, just go with me please), should a patient hug his nurse? I can honestly say that there is nothing wrong with offering a hug to anyone, whether that be you nurse, doctor, priest, or even a guy on death row. If you, the patient, want to say thank you to your nurse, go for it. Of course don’t be a groper and creeper, but if you are kind of normal, and not a weirdo, ask your healthcare worker for a hug all you want to.

Now if your nurse responds with a high five instead, you know where he learned that from! :)

How about you? How do you feel about patients wanting to hug you? Are you a lawyer that’s afraid of sexual harassment? Are you a robot that doesn’t understand physical interactions? Are you a hugging machine that likes to hold onto anyone that’s willing? Your thoughts are wanted and appreciated.

P.S. Can I have a hug?

funny nurse

Top 20 Funny Nurse Quotes

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George Tall

Author at Hug Your Nurse
George Tall works in the legal field, is a father of three, and a husband of a RN for 25 years. He enjoys writing about everything, especially nursing! He has been writing for a living, at least partially, since around 2000. As an author on dozens of websites, he enjoys being factual, while spinning a bit of humor where possible.
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funny nurseI can’t help it, I love funny stories. I searched all over the inter to come up with some of the funniest nurse quotes to share. If you have any funny sayings that you would like to give us, feel free to leave a comment below.

 

 

  1. Nursing: Where else can you experience the thrill of having total strangers poop in front of you like it’s totally your business?
  2. Be nice to me! I may be your nurse someday, and I’m the one who chooses your catheter size.
  3. Motorcyclists are typically referred to as organ donors.
  4. Laughter is not the best medicine. Propofol is!
  5. How is it that waitresses refill drinks and get tipped 15%, but I clean up poop, scrub feet, wash hair, provide medicine and keep people alive and still get yelled at?
  6. Did you want to talk to the Doctor in charge or the nurse who knows what’s going on?
  7. You can’t cure stupid, but you can sedate it.
  8. Not all patients are annoying. Some are dead.
  9. I have a tendency to laugh at your patient’s “big” problems.
  10. Don’t mess with me- I’m paid to stab people with sharp objects.
  11. Save one life, you’re a hero. Save one hundred, you’re a nurse.
  12. Nurses: Here to save your butt, not kiss it!
  13. I’ve come to the realization that I’ll touch anything, so long as I have gloves on.
  14. We checked your insurance and the only thing it covers is one visit from a Care Bear.
  15. I’m a nursing major, I experience finals week every week.
  16. I’m a student nurse. And I think I’ve figured out why there’s a nursing shortage.
  17. Screaming and throwing a tantrum won’t influence mom. As a nurse, she’s learned to deal with such behavior.
  18. I appreciate the compliment, but this isn’t the latest design for a nurse’s uniform. One of my patients just vomited on me.
  19. This is strange. My bladder just sent me a text message begging me to start taking bathroom breaks.
  20. Nurse who goes missing at beach, can be found under the doc.

 

Don’t forget to leave a comment if you have a good nurse joke or quote, and register for our free nursing bag contest held every month!

nursing bag

What’s In Your Nursing Bag?

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George Tall

Author at Hug Your Nurse
George Tall works in the legal field, is a father of three, and a husband of a RN for 25 years. He enjoys writing about everything, especially nursing! He has been writing for a living, at least partially, since around 2000. As an author on dozens of websites, he enjoys being factual, while spinning a bit of humor where possible.
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nursing bagI have been doing so much writing about nursing bags lately (see the articles about bags including: free, students, cute, best, and more) that it has me wondering what most nurses lug around in their bags. I know that my wife (Nurse Stacey) never leaves home without hers. I also know that hers weighs around 20 pounds (not exaggerating, maybe), and she has actually had me bring it to her LTAC when she has forgotten it.

So I was wondering, what do you put in your nursing bag? I actually plan on doing a whole series of interviews asking this question. I also hope that some of you may chime in with what’s in yours. It may be helpful to some, and probably funny to most of us, to find out just how many “things” you can stuff into it.

To get this started, Stacey has volunteered (reluctantly) to help me by describing what she has in hers right now:

  • stethoscope
  • lots of magazines such as People, Soap Opera Digest, etc.
  • some chips, peanuts and other snacks to keep her happy all night
  • a lite jacket
  • some female products
  • her iPad
  • at least a dozen black pens
  • a yellow highlighter
  • sticky notes
  • a miniature fan (it’s always hot at the LTAC)
  • chewing gum
  • a small flashlight
  • a book about angels
  • some change (counted $3.20 in loose change) for the vending machines
  • breath mints
  • a calculator

 

Yep, it’s basically a backup purse that she can throw anything, and everything, into. It’s actually so good that I wish that I could have one! Of course mine would mainly be filled with fishing supplies, hunting magazines, video games, and other “boy stuff”.

So how about you? What do you have in your nurse bag right now? We would love to hear from you!

 

funny nurse cartoon person

The Funny Things That Nurses Hear

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George Tall

Author at Hug Your Nurse
George Tall works in the legal field, is a father of three, and a husband of a RN for 25 years. He enjoys writing about everything, especially nursing! He has been writing for a living, at least partially, since around 2000. As an author on dozens of websites, he enjoys being factual, while spinning a bit of humor where possible.
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funny nurse cartoon personLiving with a Registered Nurse that works night shifts, I have heard my fair share of funny stories that nurses hear from patients, doctors and their coworkers. My wife isn’t the only one sharing stories around me. In my job (the legal field), I am often working at hospitals, nursing homes, and hospice facilities. I have directly heard some of the funniest things being told to nurses, and it’s one of my favorite questions to ask healthcare workers.

In sharing these stories, it’s not my intent to get anyone in trouble, so I will not use the nurses’ names. Rest assured though that all of these quotes are true and not exaggerated. With that in mind, here are some of the funniest things that nurses have heard, as directly heard by me, or told to me by nurses:

 

1- I was giving a drug seeking patient his regular Dilaudid  IV push. He was notorious for calling the administrators and complaining that the staff was stealing his medicine and not giving him anything. He was one of those that begged you to push it faster so he could get a buzz. So one night I was giving him his medicine. As soon as it went through his head tilted and he was out. Not one minute later his head popped back up, he looked around the room frantically and asked, “Why won’t you give me my medicine? Did you steal it again?”

 

2- An elderly (72 years old) lady came into our emergency room complaining that her “baby” was stuck. O course none of us believed her at first, but she had an amazing story. She gave us the name of her doctor, said that she has been visiting her OBGYN regularly for the last 6 months, and that her baby was due in 2 weeks. She explained that her baby had been kicking in the morning but had stopped once the labor pains had begun. She said that she was stuck in her house without a phone and that the baby’s daddy had been at work all day. She said that she was in labor for hours and that she could feel the baby pushing it’s way out, but it was stuck. We rushed her into the trauma room where the doctor in charge could examine her. Of course this created a huge stir. We were about to witness a 72 year old woman give birth to a baby! Without going into graphic details, an enema later and the constipation relieved, the “baby” was born. But the baby photos were not fit for framing!

 

We will add more funny stories from nurses as time goes on. If you have any good ones to add, we would love to hear from you. Just leave a comment in the box below.